


Need You Now

by TheModernChromatic



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-01-31
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:41:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 18,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3227891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheModernChromatic/pseuds/TheModernChromatic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>collection of prompt fills from my tumblr since I've changed a few things there</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The nurse looked at Eren skeptically, eyeing his baggy sweater and runny nose (courtesy of some spicy curry he’d just eaten).

“I feel awful.” Eren coughed. “I think it’s strep throat.”

The nurse didn’t even try to be discrete about rolling her eyes into the back of her head.

“You don’t even have a fever, Mr. Jaeger.”

Eren coughed harder, sniffed at his runny nose.

“I’m sick. I needa see a doctor.”

Clearly fed up, the nurse rose from her seat on the stool, finished writing down Eren’s vitals and stopped in the door.

“The doctor will be with you in a minute.” Her tone was flat and dead and she let the door slam as she left.

Of course, Eren knew ‘a minute’ would be much longer than that, given how long it always took the doctor to show up, but it’d be worth the wait. A year ago, Eren had come in for his regularly scheduled check-up and gotten a surprise his life insurance had failed to tell him about. His old doctor, Dr. Pixis, had finally gotten around to retiring, and the doctor that’d succeeded him was nothing short of a sex god. Since then, Eren had been coming up with all sorts of reasons to show up in the clinic, just to see him, and had once had the good fortune of running into him at the grocery store. But after an unfortunate bout of good health, Eren had needed to take the situation into his own hands.

The proceeding, customary two light knocks on the door jump-started Eren’s heart and the door opened without Eren’s prompting.

“Hello, Mr. Jaeger. How are we today?”

Looking at the doctor’s smile, Eren couldn’t help but reply, “Good,” before he caught himself. “Well, I mean. Not good. I’m sick. Not good,” he clarified. He was already screwing it up.

“Oh? Not good, I see. Well, it makes sense that you’d go to a doctor if you were feeling ‘not good’ today.”

Eren cursed the way the man smiled as he said it, little pleasantries he was always sure to include. Coming from a medical family with his dad as a doctor and his mother as a therapist, then seeing Dr. Smith, Eren refused to believe what they said when they said bedside manner was dead.

The doctor’s hum as he read over something on a clipboard redirected Eren’s attention.

“No fever, slight cough, and a runny nose? Is that all?” THe doctor looked at him from over the clipboard. Eren found himself nodding along, blowing his cover without realizing it. He was startled by the doctor’s responsive laughter.

“I’m afraid there’s not much I can do for you. If anything, you’ve got a virus. Going home and getting some rest should be all you need. I can get you a note if you’d like to take a day off work.”

“Oh, yeah,” Eren responded, deflated. He’d gotten so caught up in seeing the doctor that he’d forgotten why he’d even come in the first place. He watched the man’s hand move back and forth across the paper as he wrote something down while Eren tried to think of things to buy him more time. “What about stuff like home remedies? Anything you’d recommend?”

The doctor’s hand stopped moving for a second, lifted the pen off the paper and tapped it against his chin.

“Well, most home remedies don’t really work, but you know what they say. They’re always doing studies on what speeds up healing, and you could always take the old adage ‘laughter is the best medicine’ to heart. Maybe rent a funny movie or invite some friends over. Hot soup. Get a massage,” he shrugged.

Eren pat himself on the back for finding the perfect window of opportunity.

“How would getting a massage help?” Eren asked, feining innocence. He delighted in the way the doctor perked up to answer his question.

“Actually, a lot of studies have been done showing that physical contact can have a hugely positive effect on recovery time. That in mind, getting a massage is perfect. If nothing else, it’ll relax you.”

“Really?” Eren smiled. He was right on the verge of having too much fun; it would be almost too easy to get what he wanted from where the conversation was heading. “So, being touched by someone is good for you? What about something like sex?” He had to force down the sly grin threatening to take over his face. True to his schooling, however, the doctor barely flinched.

“Physical intimacy is indeed a good source of stress relief and physical contact. Though you run the risk of getting the other person sick.”

“I don’t think I’m contagious.” Eren hopped off the examination bed and staggered toward the doctor. “But what you’re saying is that sex would make me better?”

“Well, essentially, yes—”

“Then isn’t it your job as my doctor to make me better?”

Eren’s fingers wrapped around the doctor’s tie, tugged him down a little. He offered surprisingly little resistance, going with the pull of Eren’s hand. Eren pulled him close enough to feel his breath on his face, then stopped pulling.

“What do you say, Dr. Smith? Will you make me better?”

The doctor didn’t say anything for a moment, didn’t move from where his and Eren’s faces were so close. His eyes darted from meeting Eren’s, to examining Eren’s lips.

“… call me Erwin.”

Eren huffed a little laugh and took that as initiative to close the space between their faces. The doctor’s lips were a little worn, like he chewed on them whenever something at work stressed him out, but they were still soft and met Eren’s with enthusiasm. When Eren felt the doctor’s hands settle on his back, he pressed closer, driving himself between the man’s legs. The hands on his body tightened their grip and Eren grew fiercer, tugging on the lip he’d secured with his teeth, rolling his body into the other man’s until he provoked a gasp. Eren finally let go of the grip he had on the doctor’s tie and rubbed it into his crotch.

“My, my, doctor. You’re hard,” he teased. He kept his face close, their noses and foreheads still touching.

“And you’re not?” He countered. He moved down to kiss Eren’s neck, insisting, “Call me Erwin.”

Eren grinned. He hooked a finger in the waistband of Erwin’s pants, testing the name in his mind. Erwin’s hands pulled the hem of Eren’s shirt up over his head in one fluid motion before tossing it aside. Eren couldn’t help but whimper, his hands freezing in place, when Erwin’s fingers closed around a nipple. Erwin shushed him, but the sensation of hot breath in his ear only made the situation worse.

“You need to be quiet. Nurses are born with supernatural hearing.”

Eren bit his lip and nodded, shivering at the brush of Erwin’s hands across his torso as they skated down to undo his pants. He remembered what he’d been trying to do before Erwin’s hands had distracted him and undid the clasp to the man’s slacks, got a shaky hold of the zipper and tugged it down. He pushed his palm into the ridge where he’d pushed the slacks open and laughed to himself at the way the doctor’s breath paused when his hand made contact.

The pause was momentary, a hiccup in the rhythm and Erwin recovered from it quickly, scraping his teeth across the soft skin of Eren’s neck as he unbuttoned his jeans. He took the zipper down, hooked his fingers in the waistband of both the jeans and Eren’s boxers and took them down to his knees simultaneously. Erwin stepped back and raked his eyes over Eren’s exposed body, then stepped away and opened a cabinet above the sink. Eren straightened, hating to be left alone, and peered after him with annoyance.

He came back with a glove and a nondescript plastic bottle in hand.

“Up,” he barked at Eren, jerking his chin toward the examination bed.

Mindful of his pants around his knees, Eren backed up until he hit the bed and hoisted himself up, with Erwin’s impatient help nudging him along. He had to fight the gasp that bubbled up when Erwin’s mouth closed on his neck again. Trying to move things along, Eren kicked a shoe off and freed a leg from his pants. Erwin pulled away to smirk and put the glove on.

“What, afraid to touch me?” Eren challenged, watching him flex his fingers to fit the glove properly.

“I’m a doctor. Hygiene is critical. Lie back.” He spoke softly, squeezing the contents of the bottle onto his fingers.

“Is that the stuff you use for prostate exams?” Eren watched from where he’d lain back but propped himself up on his elbows. The doctor quirked an eyebrow at him.

“Do you have a better idea?”

Eren shook his head and opened his mouth to retort, but shut it immediately to keep himself from making a noise at the sudden intrusion of Erwin’s finger. Eren had to focus all of his energy on keeping himself quiet. With his knowledge of anatomy, the doctor found Erwin’s prostate instantly and kept his attention there. Eren couldn’t help his shivering, The addition of the second and then third fingers only made his job of keeping himself quiet harder. After what seemed like a tortuous amount of time, Erwin withdrew his hand, peeled the glove off and threw it away, then pulled out his wallet. He took a condom out of one of the pockets, tore it open and reached for himself, but Eren stole it from him before he got the chance to put it on.

“Let me,” he insisted.

He grabbed the waist of Erwin’s slacks and took them down over his hips, then did the same with his boxers, seeing his opportunity to get revenge for Erwin’s roundabout, torturous preparations. He wrapped his hand around Erwin’s cock and squeezed and stroked languidly, watching the doctor’s face for his reaction. He stared back with an amused but cautious expression, his eyes sliding shut with a sudden squeeze from Eren’s hand. Eren grinned wolfishly and set a slow rhythm with his hand, but added in bursts of surprising speed just to see Erwin jerk. He was panting by the time he grabbed Eren’s hand.

“If we take too long the nurses will get suspicious,” he huffed, no energy in his voice. “I still have other patients.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Eren grumbled, enjoying his moment of power. He took the condom out of its wrapper and rolled it reluctantly over Erwin’s length.

Erwin looked at him, swallowed with anticipation, and smothered Eren in a forceful kiss. It took Eren a moment to breathe, mostly out of surprise, but partially out of the sheer force of the kiss. Erwin grabbed him by the hips and moved him to the edge of the examination bed where he was within reach. He broke the kiss only for a second, keeping his mouth close.

“I’m putting it in.” He sealed the warning with another kiss and Eren nodded into it. He caught his breath as he felt it go in, his fingers digging into Erwin’s back. They groaned in unison when Erwin’s hips met Eren’s ass and he bottomed out. Eren held tight for a moment and Erwin pulled away from the kiss to bury his nose in Eren’s shoulder. He kept still as he pressed his face into Eren’s neck and kissed his way up to Eren’s ear. “Can I move?”

Eren bit his lip and nodded, only to bite down harder when Erwin pulled back and pushed in again. He whimpered through his teeth and Erwin bit down softly on his ear, hushing him. He started a slow pace, but his hands were far better at finding Eren’s favorite spot, so when he’d hit it, it was always a shock. Eren let go of Erwin with one hand and curled it around himself to ease into it. Erwin chuckled when he noticed and picked up the pace until he’d carefully matched Eren’s hand. He’d also found a way to hit Eren’s prostate with more accuracy with each thrust, and that was all Eren needed to shiver and throw his head back, biting down on a moan.

His head hit the wall behind him with a seemingly deafening sound and the two froze in place, thinking themselves caught. After a few minutes when nothing happened, Erwin pressed a few soft kisses into the base of Eren’s jaw and murmured in his ear.

“Turn over. You won’t hit the wall that way.”

Erwin pulled out and Eren obliged. He had to stand on his toes to get high enough, his cock pinned to the paper-covered bed underneath him, but his discomfort dissipated when Erwin pushed in again, kissing at the back of his neck and working his hands over the smooth skin of Eren’s back. Eren was certain he’d bite through his lip if he had to keep himself quiet any longer, so he let out a few soft noises, for every time Erwin’s hips made contact. Erwin issued soft hushes in his ear and gripped Eren’s hip with a hand, but he changed his angle perfectly and it made it harder for Eren to stay quiet.

Despite it being more teasing than pleasing, Erwin’s work earlier had brought Eren too close and he felt his orgasm start to coil in the pit of his abdomen, his cheeks burning. Eren pushed his face into the bed.

“Sh-shit… Erwin, I’m com-I’m coming.” His body tensed up as he tumbled over the edge, warmth blossoming against his stomach where his cock was still pinned against him.

Erwin shushed him but kept thrusting through Eren’s orgasm until his own hit him and he finished with a few jerky thrusts. He let himself collapse on Eren’s back until he caught his breath and pulled out. Overstimulated, Eren whimpered softly when he did. Erwin slid off the condom, tied it shut, and pulled his pants back over his hips then zipped them up.

With some reluctance, Eren got up and started to redress himself, opting to ignore the slightly sticky patch on his stomach. Erwin tossed the condom onto the paper covering of the examination bed, then tore it near the roll and folded up the used sheet, throwing it away before unrolling a new sheet. Eren finished dressing and laughed at the man’s quick thinking. His laugh caught Erwin’s attention and he smiled sheepishly.

“Thank you, Erwin. My cold’s all gone now.”

Erwin grunted and strode over to the sink to wash his hands.

“Yeah, yeah. Next time, wait until I get home. No more showing up at work, okay?”

Eren laughed and hugged him from behind, victorious.

“Yes,  _doctor_.”


	2. Chapter 2

"Damn you, old man. I told you to mind your own business. Now look at you." Eren felt he’d been kneeling for an eternity, joints aching, body shaking. He had a feeling of impending vomiting even though he’d seen things that should’ve turned his stomach ten times harder. He set a careful hand on the soft cheek at his knees and tried to ignore the wetness seeping up under him. The blue eyes darted around frantically for a moment before settling on Eren’s face and wavering only slightly. 

The mouth under Eren’s thumb strained and gaped open, but only produced a wet cough which made Eren grimace. He moved his thumb over the lips, up over the bridge of the nose, and let it settle on the high cheekbone where the flesh seemed to be getting paler by the second. He rubbed it tenderly, looking sorrowfully down into the eyes gazing up at him. 

"I told you to stay away." Eren grit his teeth, surprised to hear his voice shake. There was nothing more he could do. If there’d been a chance to call for help, he would’ve, but he knew a shot through the heart when he saw one. It was all he could do to get back at the bastard who’d fired the shot. He lay several feet away with a bullet in his head. 

Eren was even more surprised to find tears falling onto the man’s face. A ploy. Hadn’t it all only been a ploy? Surely he hadn’t developed feelings for the man. He’d only gotten close because it’d become a necessity. He should’ve backed out earlier. 

"Damn you," Eren spat through his teeth. He’d have to get up soon. He’d have to leave. Someone would call the cops soon after hearing the gunshots, if they hadn’t already, and he couldn’t be there when they arrived. His eyes had closed against the tears, but they opened again when he felt movement under his fingertips. He had to bite back a sob when he saw the lips under his palm had curled into a faint smile. 

"I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry." He said it to nothingness, to an empty shell. The smile seemed to be the last thing the detective had been able to muster before fading away completely. Eren stared down at it numbly, reading the forgiveness that had happened before his apology, the forgiveness he didn’t deserve. 

It truly was the last thing the man had done; he hadn’t even had the strength to close his eyes. Eren looked at them, still a striking blue but now empty and drew a shaky breath. He closed them with his thumb and forefinger and finally stood, feeling his joints protest and his heart sink even lower. He couldn’t kiss the cooling forehead like he wanted to for fear of leaving evidence. He could only back away still facing the body, with the air chilling the blood that stained his knees from where he’d knelt. 

He turned his back only when he heard the sirens in the distance. 

"Goodbye, Erwin." 

He spoke the words, but they were lost to the passing wind.


	3. Chapter 3

Erwin got home more annoyed than tired. For the third day in a row, he’d been kept late after work to help work on some huge project he wasn’t really even assigned to. After he’d had enough, he’d finally put his foot down—it wasn’t really part of his job anyway—and he’d gone home pent up in more ways than one. Needless to say, he was not expecting to find his little lover at home on their bed, since he was actually assigned to the project Erwin had been coerced into working on for the last three days. Even more surprising, though, was the significant lack of shame on Eren’s face, hot and flushed red, his eyes screwed shut. With one hand, he stroked himself freely, the other moving rhythmically inside himself, two fingers in up to the knuckle.

Erwin was more shocked than anything, though the sudden growing tightness in his pants wasn’t exactly a shock. He stayed in the doorway for a moment, unsure what to do but gradually growing more annoyed with Eren for shirking his responsibility to his own project to go home and enjoy himself while Erwin took over. Erwin stepped forward to say something, but his words died in his throat.

“Erwin…”

Eren’s voice came out shaky and riddled with pleasure and for a moment Erwin forgot how to breathe. He watched Eren’s hips buck up with the motion of his hands.

“I thought you were supposed to be working on the project.”

Eren’s hands stopped and Erwin watched him shiver. He slit his eyes open.

“I got reassigned.”

“Is this your reassignment? Because I’m picking up your slack.”

Eren shook his head.

“This is my apology.” He grinned and let his eyes flutter shut as he resumed the motion of his hands. Rather than biting his lip like he had before, Eren let his mouth fall open in a series of soft moans. Erwin swallowed hard. Eren stopped again after Erwin didn’t move. “Are you going to accept my apology or am I going to have to finish this for myself?”

Erwin’s hands were tearing at his clothes in seconds. He’d kicked off his shoes when he got home, and he’d managed to get out of his shirt and pants before crawling eagerly on the bed, so all that was left was his boxers and socks.

Eren freed his hands to welcome Erwin, guiding him down for a kiss and grinding the heel of his palm into the ridge pushing up Erwin’s boxers. Erwin caught his breath and made Eren laugh in the kiss before he hooked his fingers into the waistband and brought Erwin’s boxers down completely. Eren leaned back, tugging Erwin’s bottom lip with his teeth. He brought his hand, still slick from his earlier adventures, around Erwin’s cock and gave it a few strokes.

“Don’t keep me waiting,” Eren growled around his grip on Erwin’s lip.

With a choked gasp, Erwin followed the guidance of Eren’s hand and thrust himself forward into the heat of Eren’s body. Eren yelped, slightly less prepared than he thought he was, and dug his nails into Erwin’s back. Erwin huffed, thrust again and placed his hands on either side of Eren’s head for leverage. He leaned in to kiss at Eren’s ear.

“I like this. No pesky prep work.”

“Yeah?” Eren jabbed Erwin in the ribs with his heel and drew a sharp breath when Erwin moved again. “I did all the work for you, that’s why.”

“Then we’re even.”

Erwin picked up a rhythm and Eren’s ankles came up around Erwin’s back, nails still digging into Erwin’s skin.

“Ow, Eren, don’t claw so hard.”

Eren nodded in understanding, but it didn’t stop him from digging in his nails again when Erwin moved. Erwin winced and moved back enough to pull out.

“Okay, new plan, turn over.”

Eren groaned, dismayed at the sudden lack of friction and turned over, pushing his hips into the air and his face into the pillows. Erwin adjusted himself behind Eren before plunging into Eren’s ass again, relishing Eren’s gasp. Eren fisted his hands in the sheets, muffling his voice in the pillows. Erwin thrust into him a few times before getting a handful of Eren’s hair and pulling him up out of the pillow.

“I wanna hear you.”

Eren gasped again as Erwin plowed into him, his head held up by Erwin’s hand and slowly pushed himself up to his hands and knees, keeping his back arched. Eren let out a little ‘ah’ every time Erwin’s hips hit his ass and he bottomed out. Eren changed the angle of his hips just enough to ensure that Erwin hit the spot he was aiming for every time. Eren clenched the sheets tighter, mouth agape with his head thrown back, hair still in Erwin’s fist. He could feel the heat coiling in his stomach.

“Erwin,” he panted. “I’m c-close…”

Erwin leaned down, pressing his stomach against Eren’s back so he could be right by his ear.

“Well that’s because you started without me, isn’t it?”

Eren nodded against Erwin’s hand in his hair. Erwin pulled hard and made Eren cry out, still pounding him from behind. Where having his hair pulled would’ve ordinarily hurt, Eren was too close for it to do anything but make his vision fuzzy. He bit his lip and whimpered. Erwin leaned down again, keeping the pull on Eren’s hair and the motion of his hips constant.

“You want to come, don’t you?”

Eren nodded against Erwin’s hand again, still biting his lip.

“Go on. Come for me.”

That was all Eren needed to hit his limit and give in to the pleasure. Erwin’s soft and rumbling voice in his ear, giving him permission. He tumbled over the edge, losing the strength in his arms and falling forward, making Erwin pull his hair harder. The pain in the midst of his orgasm only intensified the feeling. His body stopped seizing and Erwin let go of Eren’s hair to get a grip on Eren’s hips until he followed suit. Tired, Eren sighed at the warmth pooling inside him, knowing he’d have to clean up.

Once Erwin rolled off, panting, Eren summoned the energy to plant a kiss on him before sliding out of bed to go clean off. He came back with a washcloth for Erwin, who thanked him with a kiss before pulling him close. Eren twisted around to face him until their foreheads met and they closed their eyes, smiling softly and breathing in each other’s air.

“I love you, you know,” Eren whispered.

“I love you too, but it’s still your fault I had to pick up so much extra work.”

“I said I was sorry.”

“No you didn’t.”

“Not with words.”

Erwin grunted and nuzzled his nose against Eren’s. Eren laughed a little and snuggled closer as they drifted off to sleep wrapped around one another.


	4. Chapter 4

**Anonymous asked: Ah, are you still accepting prompts ;u;?? Cause I wanted to request some nutcracker AU angst v u v not like a breakup but maybe like a fight or something?? Or something involving Grisha?? I dunno v u v**

 

Eren ground his foot into the clutch, turning the key frantically and trying to get his engine to come back to life. He knew his car was shit, but for it to stall out in the middle of an intersection? What a load of bullshit. His eyes flickered up at the light overhead, trying to stay calm as he watched it turn yellow. All the cars behind him had started going around. He cursed, jiggled the gear shift and turned the key in the ignition again. His car gave a faint groan, the engine still struggling. The light overhead turned red. 

He felt his pulse pick up, not willing to give up on starting his car. Surely the other cars waiting at the light had seen him stalled out and would just go around. In his periphery, he saw their light turn green. He started mashing the clutch, turning the key, and jiggling the clutch aimlessly, desperate. Three cars passed behind him, one in front. His car shook when they passed. They’d seen him and gone around, at least. One car honked. Eren turned the key again and felt elated and relieved when the engine finally came back to life. 

He had just enough time to shift into first before he looked out the window to see the car before it hit. 

-

Erwin heard his phone from across the studio. He was busy practicing lifts with Petra, not that he really needed it, but there were a few they hadn’t gone over for the upcoming performance. He should’ve set his phone on mute like he always did, and even if he hadn’t, he would’ve normally apologized and just left it alone, but what came from his bag was the ringtone he’d set for Eren. Eren knew better than to call him in the middle of rehearsal. When he needed things while Erwin was at the studio, he usually just sent texts. That was why Erwin set Petra down, apologized to his director and stepped outside to answer the call. 

"Eren? What do you need? You know I’m at rehearsal." He tried not to sound annoyed, but also tried to keep the creeping dread out of his voice. 

"Erwin?" 

That wasn’t Eren’s voice. 

"This is Armin. Eren just got into a wreck. His car stalled out in an intersection. They called me and Mikasa and we made it to the scene. Eren told me to call you and then he passed out." 

"Is he okay?" Erwin could feel a lump in his throat forming. 

"I don’t know." Erwin’s breath caught in his throat. "EMS said they think he has a concussion. Mikasa rode with him in the ambulance. They’re heading to St. Joseph’s. I’m driving there now." 

"I’ll be there in ten minutes." Erwin threw open the door to the studio and grabbed his bag, pulled on some shoes and fished around for his keys. He’d apologize to his director later. 

"I’ll text you if anything happens until then."

"Please," Erwin tried not to beg into the phone. He hung up and ran out of the studio, ignoring everyone shouting after him.

-

He reached the hospital room panicked and out of breath. Armin had sent him a text with the room number, so he’d ran all the way from the parking lot, only stopping to get directions to the room. 

Mikasa sat to the side of Eren’s bed, clinging to one of his hands while Armin stood off against a wall. A horde of nurses was swarming around Eren, making it difficult to get close. Armin came up to greet Erwin. 

"The just finished up the x-rays." 

Erwin stared on, terrified, while Armin continued. 

"It was a pretty direct hit. The car’s totaled. They had to take the door off to get him out. He broke his left arm in two places, and the collarbone, and his hip is fractured. They’re waiting to see if they should do an MRI, but I think they’re going to take him in a few minutes to set his casts." 

"Is that it?" Erwin swallowed. He couldn’t see much of Eren’s face with the nurses in the way, but from what he could see, there was blood on his forehead and lip. 

"So far. They’re still not sure about the concussion. They said he probably blacked out when the car hit. He woke up for a few seconds after they got him out. He pretty much just told me to call you and then started screaming about the pain before he passed out again." 

Erwin balled his hands into fists. 

"They said he’d be alright. We just have to wait for him to wake up." 

Erwin nodded slowly. He and Armin moved out of the doorway when the nurses wheeled Eren out. 

They brought Eren back after about an hour, this time with a cast that covered his entire arm. After a bit more fussing, the nurses dissipated and only returned every thirty minutes or so. Eren didn’t wake up for five hours after they fitted him with his cast. One of the nurses had said they’d decided not to do the MRI after all once they’d reached the conclusion that he didn’t have a concussion. 

Mikasa cried when Eren woke up. Erwin waited until the nurses had finished making sure Eren was alright and Armin dragged Mikasa off to get food, not leaving Erwin with Eren solely by coincidence. Eren, for his part, was too disoriented for the first several minutes anyway. Erwin had his hand when Eren finally realized what has happening. Erwin gripped Eren’s hand, trying not to squeeze too hard. 

"Hey," he breathed softly when Eren’s eyes focused on him. 

"Erwin." Eren blinked slowly. "I got hit by a car." 

"I know." He tried not to laugh in spite of himself. He could feel his eyes tearing up. 

“‘M I okay?” 

"You broke your arm and your hip." Erwin lifted Eren’s hand slowly to his mouth, mindful of the IV in Eren’s arm. He kissed Eren’s fingertips. Eren made a noise. 

"I’m not supposed to break my hip. You are." 

"Me?" 

"Mhm, ‘cuz you’re old." 

"Eren…" Erwin groaned. At least he was joking about it. That meant he was okay. Eren stiffened suddenly and tried to sit up. "Hey!" 

Erwin eased him back into the pillows. 

"My car!" 

"It’s totaled." Eren still looked distressed hearing that and continued to mutter ‘my car’ over and over again. Erwin figured the pain meds were making him loopy. He kissed Eren’s palm. "I’ll buy you a new one." 

Eren shook his head. 

"I want a boat." 

"A boat?" 

Eren nodded hard, his car forgotten. 

"A pirate ship! With cannons!" He tried to move his arm and winced when the cast stopped him. Erwin watched for a moment, concerned, while Eren babbled about pirates. Eren was grinning, his eyes sometimes going out of focus. Whatever they had him on was strong. 

Erwin leaned in and placed a light kiss on Eren’s forehead.

"Yeah, okay, Eren. I’ll buy you a pirate ship."


	5. Chapter 5

**monsy-mouse asked: It's 3 am, I can't sleep, so here's a fluffy prompt: So obviously Eren is far younger than Erwin. So how about Eren has been feeling a bit jealous and insecure lately and he's been trying to hide it but Erwin starts to pick up signs. So what does Erwin do? He holds him close, comforts him, and tells him why he's so madly in love with him. :)**

I can’t get over the feeling. He’s been in my life for a few years now, and all that time, I’ve been trying to get older, get wiser, get more mature—get closer to him! But I can’t close the gap between us. It’s not like I’m dumb enough to think me getting older will make us closer in age; I know he’s gonna get older too, but for some reason I got the feeling things would be better at twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, and so on. But now I’m twenty-four and things still feel the same as when I met him when I was nineteen. He’s thirty-six. That’s twelve years. Twelve. That’s half my age. 

I wouldn’t say I’ve been in love with him ever since I first met him, but that’s pretty much the case. At first, I was more star-struck than anything. He was this brilliant, famed executive who’d gotten his software company off the ground and earned himself the position of CEO before he’d even hit thirty, and he’d started from nowhere. His father was a schoolteacher. When I met him, he was thirty-one and already owned the world, but he was humble about it and I was just the intern coffeeboy with a penchant for coding. He didn’t even know my name for a month, and I brought him coffee every morning. 

These days I almost wish he didn’t know my name. I’m sure he knew I liked coding when I got hired to intern for him. I just wanted to get in with the company. I never imagined that I’d end up his personal intern (read: coffee slave). At least for the first few years. Naturally, with his position, he was pretty busy, but he still insisted on checking over and even writing the code for any of his new software. He’d given me a copy to deliver once and I’d gotten curious, so I looked at it and ended up finding some things he’d missed and when I brought them to his attention he started noticing me. That was when he learned my name. After that he started giving me little projects, all of which were so easy they were boring, and I’ve moved up gradually ever since, but somehow I’ve always been in proximity to him. 

Erwin Smith. The mastermind behind S. Legion Software. You could probably see him on the streets and find nothing astonishing about him, aside from his ridiculous height, but look closely, talk to him, and you’ll be taken back by what you find. The more you know him, the more you realize he’s far beyond ordinary. When I met him, I was drawn in by his name and reputation alone, but once you get to know him, you learn both of those mean nothing to him. He’s so much more than that. That’s what I like best about him. 

He never replaced me after I moved up from intern, so I still get him coffee in the morning. I call it a habit to anyone who asks, but really, I’m just happy to do something for him. Anything. About a year ago I’d been eyeing another promotion so I sent him a little demo of something I did, and somehow that became a ‘habit’ too, not begging for promotions, just making things for him. I don’t know what my official title is here anymore, but I have my tasks. Still, I see Erwin more than anyone here. 

I don’t know how much more of it I can take. He’s unattainable. He’s brilliant and pensive, and somehow as hard as I try and as close as I get it’s never enough. I don’t even know if it’s worth trying to get across how I feel anymore. In the end, we’re acquaintances at best. 

I don’t know how it starts. In code, everything is a pathway, a puzzle. One thing leads to this, to that, to the next thing, and so on but it one thing is out of place, it stops working. So you have to be able to see the whole picture, but know where to look to make the puzzle fit together if it doesn’t work. That’s what I do. I leave him a puzzle. Sometimes I scrawl a little note on the bottom of his coffee cup in the morning, on the inside of the paper rim where no one would think to look. Sometimes a puzzle piece manifests itself in a tiny drawing on the corner of something buried under stacks of paperwork on his desk. Or, if he gives me a piece of new software he’s developing, it could be a line of code that does nothing, looks inconspicuous, and means nothing unless read. Once, it’s a slice of his favorite pie on his birthday, anonymously delivered to his desk (by me, of course). 

Apart, the pieces make no sense. They’re almost manic, and it’d take a psychopath to find them all and then decode them. There’s no hidden message or anything, not like a letter in pieces. It’s just four meaningless things crammed together. E2SJ. Everywhere. Anywhere I want to put them, but nowhere they’ll be seen. It started a year ago, and it’s been eating at me ever since. The last place I put it was in a little demo I’m going to finish for him and give him in a few days, but I’m almost disappointed that he’s never seen any of it anywhere. Or thought nothing of it, at least. 

We don’t talk about personal things often, so when I bring him his coffee one morning and he stops to talk to me, he surprises me by initiating conversation. I feel impolite leaving, so I stay, but I wish I hadn’t once he gets into uncomfortable territory. 

"I hate reading newspapers," he tells me. "For the third time this year, I’ve ended up on one of those ‘most eligible bachelors’ lists again."

"That does sound troublesome," I offer. He laughs. 

"I suppose I could shut them up and get married."

I nod, trying to keep my face calm. It’s not as if the thought hadn’t crossed my mind before. I’d accepted long ago that he’d probably marry some rich heiress and live happily ever after. 

"Of course, I’d need a wife for that first. The only problem with that is that I don’t have time to find one." He laughs. "I don’t suppose I could ask that of you." 

My breath stops in my throat for a second before I realize that I’m thinking irrationally. He’s joking about asking me to find him a wife, not be one. 

"I hear there are websites for that," I say unhelpfully. 

He just laughs. 

"I suppose so." He pulls out his tablet, takes a sip of his coffee and tips it toward me as a gesture of thanks. "Well don’t let me keep you." 

I nod again and start to leave, but in the doorway I swear I hear him mutter “E2SJ…” but I keep going. I’m sure I’m only imagining things. 

He catches me in the hallway again later and sends me off for lunch, which I bring back to him, expecting to just leave it with him like I always do, but for some reason, he points me to a chair across his desk. 

"Did you need something, sir?" 

He makes a face at me. Somewhat recently, he asked me to stop calling him sir. 

"Erwin," I correct myself. 

"Not in particular. I have a new project I want to run by you." 

It’s not unusual for him to run projects by me, but ‘new’ implies that he hasn’t done anything but plan it yet. Everything I’ve helped him with has been pre-planned and thoroughly combed over before it reached me. I’ve never worked with anything ‘new.’

"I’m happy to help," I reply almost robotically. 

"Here." He waves me over to the other side of his desk and opens his laptop. I take another bite of my lunch before rounding the desk. When I look at his screen I don’t know what I’m expecting. Code, maybe, or just a list of ideas, but what I get is something that looks like a 64-bit videogame. I turn to him with a questioning look. 

"It’s software I’ve had the idea for since awhile ago. Something that will allow a user to covert any file and any application on any operating system into any synonymous platform or operating system, provided the target in mind has the capacity to run it." 

"Erwin, that’s…huge." I say. It doesn’t explain what I’m looking at. 

"I wrote this little demo on a different platform and used what I have so far to get it on here." 

He pulls up a different window and I see lines and lines of code. This must be what he’s been using as his template, but even this had to have taken him months to write. 

"Hand me your phone. We’ll try something." 

I hand him my phone from my pocket and he plugs it into his computer. Of course he has a cable for it. I bought the same phone he has because he said it was good for keeping organized. That, and S. Legion helped with some of the development. He taps on his keyboard for a few seconds and a loading bar flashes across the screen then disappears before it even needs to load. Fast. He unplugs my phone and hands it back to me. 

"Try it." 

I locate the app he’s just placed and open it. 

"It’s working." 

"Will it run? The demo I made is pretty basic, but just in case." 

I tap what would constitute the ‘start’ button, but the screen goes black and four digits cross the screen instead. Erwin clicks his tongue. 

"That’s the error screen." 

I don’t say anything. I don’t know what to say. The message on the screen is four spaces long. 

E2SJ 

Erwin reads my reaction. 

"That’s your little code, isn’t it?" 

"You…" I hesitate. "You found it?" 

He laughs. 

"Awhile ago. I didn’t think anything of it until I started seeing it in strange places. It finally clicked when I saw it in some of your code." 

I don’t say anything for a moment. 

"Just a habit," I try. "Like a signature." 

"I know it’s not a signature, Eren. Your ‘habits’ aren’t habits. My question is, does it stand for what I think it does?" 

I make a noise in my throat like water boiling over and answer reluctantly. 

"…that depends on what you think it means." 

"E2SJ. E2. Erwin and Eren both start with E. S, Smith. J, Jaeger." He replies simply. 

I look away, not meeting his eyes. 

"Am I wrong?" 

"No." I answer him right away, but quietly. I start to move away from his desk. "I’m sorry, this is out of line. I shouldn’t have…" I shake my head instead of ending my sentence and plan my escape. I’ll grab my lunch and leave. The second I take a step, Erwin grabs my wrist to stop me. 

"Eren, wait." 

I pull slightly at his hand on my wrist and freeze. My face is burning and there’s no way I can face him so I just stay put. 

"Will you be honest with me? I want you to tell me what this means." 

I shake my head. I can’t look. 

"It means I crossed boundaries and I’m sorry. Please let go." 

Erwin sighs and I hear him get up from his desk chair. His hand relaxes and I think he’s going to finally let me go, but when he does, his arms come around me, his hands settling around my upper arms as he holds me from behind. I stiffen in his grip. It’s light enough that I could break it if I wanted to, but I don’t know if I can move. 

"Sorry, I’ve done this all wrong," he says just above my ear. He’s not close enough that he’s breathing on me, but I can still feel his chest against my shoulder blades. He laughs. "I don’t know what I was expecting." 

He lets go of me. I stay where I am, expecting him to say more, but when he doesn’t, I turn around. He gives me a soft smile when I finally look up to meet his eyes, then opens his arms to me. I hesitate. As simple as it is, I’m overwhelmed with nervousness. Even as I step forward sheepishly to put my arms around him like I’ve always wanted to, my heart thuds in my ears. His arms wrap around me again and I rest my chin against his shoulder. We stay like that until I relax, balling my hands into fistfuls of his suit jacket. He smells familiar and warm. 

He draws back when I’ve relaxed, meets my eyes with a gaze I can’t break away from, then leans in. He stops just inches from my face as if asking permission. I let my eyelids flutter closed to answer him. I hear him sigh, almost like a laugh, then feel his mouth against mine, soft and wonderful. His lips slowly start to move and mine follow. I can feel my heart pounding again, heat starting in my cheeks and spreading throughout my entire body. When he finally pulls away, he smiles and laughs softly. 

"You could’ve just told me." He shakes his head at me, still smiling. "I’ve been impressed with you for a long time. I knew you’d keep moving up. You’re amazing, Eren, and you’re going to keep getting better. You’re not an intern anymore, not by a long shot. I should’ve realized earlier that you don’t bring me coffee because you ‘have to’. And everything else you do. Once I started noticing, I realized how caring you are, on top of being a brilliant programmer. Is it crazy for me to say I’ve fallen for you?" 

Unable to find words, I shake my head, smiling. I’m so happy I could cry, but I’m trying hard not to because that would be too embarrassing. 

"I’ve liked you since the beginning," I say when I can finally speak. "I just didn’t want to overstep my boundaries. It always feels like you’re miles out of my league." 

Erwin laughs again and pulls me closer. 

"No, Eren. Maybe at first, but you’ve earned your way up. You really are amazing." 

I squeeze him and he squeezes  back, then pulls away again a little and leaves a kiss on the tip of my nose, surprising me. He sees the look on my face and apologizes. 

"Sorry, was that weird?" He turns a little pink, lets go of me, then clears his throat. "So, uh, do you wanna get a drink after work?" 

I nod, slowly at first, then get more enthusiatic about it. 

Yeah. I do.


	6. Chapter 6

**Anonymous asked: Eruren mermaid au except this time around Erwin is the mermaid?**

 

Eren sighed uselessly at the water. He’d been going out to collect algae samples from the same spot every day for three weeks. He was beginning to think Hanji was just assigning him busy work. Part of him wondered why he’d even ever bothered finishing a degree in marine biology.After the first week, Hanji had stopped coming with him and started sending him out on his own. It wasn’t like he had to go deep. It was just glorified snorkeling in some little cove Hanji had taken an interest in. He guessed there was something interesting about it. He’d looked at some of the reports Hanji had made based on his samples, and there seemed to be a pretty high amount of calcium in the algae, but it didn’t seem like anything noteworthy. With all his studying, he’d never imagined he’d end up running errands for a lunatic. 

Nonetheless, he finished scraping up a bit of algae off one of the rocks he’d been frequenting and started swimming back to the boat Hanji had loaned him. His heart almost stopped with what he saw next. He still had his face in the water, just appreciating the cove with his snorkel, when something large and grey caught his eye near his boat.

At first, he only froze. In waters this shallow, it could just be a nurse shark, which wouldn’t do him any harm. From where he was, all he could see was the length of the tail, hidden behind his boat. He cursed his goggles for being cheap and terrible. He couldn’t make out exactly the shape of the tail, so it was impossible to identify what it was, just that it was large, grey, and very close to his boat. He decided to just wait it out. Once it saw that his boat was nothing interesting, it’d go away. 

He continued to simply watch it, swimming along the length of the boat slowly. It did something that surprised him, but ultimately allowed him to conclude what it was. Where it had only swam horizontally before, it went vertical for a few seconds, before going back to horizontal. Eren knew of only a few sea creatures that were known to do that, so he concluded it was probably a dolphin that had wandered off from its pod and gotten curious about his boat. He began to swim toward it; if anything, he’d just scare it off, but as he approached and it went vertical again, something odd occurred to him. The tail was completely wrong for a dolphin. In fact, it was completely wrong for anything that should be that large. He stopped where he was. He only regained his ability to move when he saw whatever it was swim higher up, almost enough for the entire tail to disappear behind the boat, then come back down, plunging deep with a familiar item. 

Were those… his shorts? 

He’d draped them over the edge of the boat when he took them off, but somehow there they were, suspended in the water near the tail. Whatever it was had his shorts, and his car keys with them. 

With a start, he swam toward it again, not quite thinking of what might happen. At least he’d had the sense to leave his phone in his car. He pushed himself forward, kicking hard at the water and made it to his boat. He was about to round the edge of it when suddenly the thing darted out in front of him and he stopped moving entirely, utterly in awe. Just an arm’s length away from him was the face of a man. 

Eren let out a shout and dislodged his snorkel at the same time whatever it was threw up its very human-looking hands and let go of Eren’s shorts. Eren thrashed in the water, trying to swim backwards, and choked on a mouthful of saltwater as he panicked all the way up to the safety of the deck of his boat. He doubled over, coughing out water and trying to breathe again. 

Just what was that thing? 

He was no expert in sea life—okay, maybe he was, considering he had a degree in it, but he was one hundred percent certain there were no fish that looked like men. 

When he’d caught his breath again, he peered over the edge of the boat curiously. His snorkel had floated up where he’d lost it and bobbed along the surface of the water, but his shorts were nowhere to be found, no doubt settling down to the bottom of the cove. He jumped in surprise when something flashed out of the water and grabbed his snorkel. He could hear his heartbeat thudding in his ears. The water was particularly murky considering how clear it normally was, but that didn’t stop him from seeing the massive shadow still huddled near his boat. Whatever it was, it still hadn’t left. 

Eren continued to stare over the edge of the boat, both terrified, but seemingly as curious as whatever that thing was. He couldn’t help but jump again when a face popped out of the water. In the sunlight, Eren could see a shock of blond hair cropped short around the neck and a pair of shining blue eyes. It looked at him, squinted and blinked several times before letting out a strange chittering noise. Eren watched it bring the snorkel up in a hand and examine it more thoroughly in the sunlight. 

It looked very, very much like a man. From what Eren could see—a head, arms, and shoulders—it was, but there was no mistaking the tail he’d seen earlier. Every fiber of his being as a scientist was telling him this wasn’t real. 

Whatever it—he? It looked like a man, not that it meant anything—was, he turned the snorkel over in his fingers before cautiously bringing it up to his mouth. Eren remembered himself as he saw part of his snorkel disappear into the thing’s mouth. 

"Hey! Don’t eat that!"  

The creature in the water had flinched a little at Eren’s voice, but was ultimately unaffected. He tapped the snorkel between his teeth a few times, made a face and spit it out. It clicked for Eren that he must’ve seen it in his mouth and that’s why the creature thought it was food. He was beside himself to think it was that intelligent. 

Yet, it had other surprises in store. Eren watched as the creature extended the snorkel to him, making another chittering noise. Cautiously, he reached over the edge of his boat and was surprised to see the creature make up for the distance between them, still holding out the snorkel. 

"Thanks," Eren said shakily. He took the snorkel from the creature and watched as he kept his hand out. Was he asking for Eren’s? 

Eren extended his empty hand again and sure enough, the creature came up and took it. Eren braced himself against the boat in case whatever he was started to pull, but he didn’t. He simply turned Eren’s hand over in both of his own, as if comparing them. Eren was surprised to see how similar they were, although the creature’s seemed proportionally longer and had thin webbing between them. After a minute or two, the creature nodded his head as if in thanks and sank back into the water. 

Eren fell away from the boat, still baffled. He rubbed his fingers together where the creature had touched them and found them slightly slimy. Like any good scientist, he took a swab of the liquid for good measure. 

Eren was surprised to hear a splash beside his boat again, followed by more chittering. Where he’d thought the creature had disappeared, he was back again. To Eren’s immense surprise, he was holding up a ball of drenched fabric in one hand. His shorts! 

"Yes! Those are mine!" Eren moved to the edge of the boat again to take the shorts. He was still trying to process the creature’s intelligence, and was glad to have his shorts back, but didn’t quite want to go as far as thinking the thing was actually polite. Yet he’d gone down to the bottom of the cove where they’d sank to get them. "Thank you." 

The thing chittered, waved as if to say goodbye and dived into the water in a way Eren could only describe as graceful. Eren waved lamely, his shorts soaked and balled up in his other hand. 

He found a seat on the boat and took several minutes to laugh at how strange all of it was. 

Mermaids, huh?


	7. Chapter 7

**Anonymous asked: Eren is the cute barrister across college campus and Erwin being a dork. Fluff and awkward situations. Erwin could be the art student and Eren is that one guy that has an undying love for acting. Be it directing, on stage, or behind a microphone-Eren's the person.**

 

Eren frowned deeply at the background hanging above the stage. It was wrong. All of it was wrong, wrong, wrong. The colors, the props, even the goddamned yellow brick road.How do you even mess that up! It’s just yellow bricks! 

"No, no, no! This is not Emerald City! Who painted this? This looks like my cat did it." Eren’s frown grew even deeper, waving his arms uselessly at everything on stage. 

Mikasa’s hand came down on Eren’s shoulder heavily as she hissed in his ear. 

"Eren, you’re doing that thing again where you get really, really controlling." 

Eren grimaced, took another look at the unsatisfactory backgrounds and rolled his eyes. 

"Whatever. Just get me somebody who can paint." 

Mikasa sighed and followed Eren off the stage. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, scrolled through her contacts list and handed it to him. 

"Here. Call him. He should make a good slave for you, oh great one," she dangled the phone from her fingers, voice laden with sarcasm. 

Eren snatched it out of her hands and pulled out his own phone. He dialed the number on the screen, taking note of the name. Erwin. What a geeky name. The guy was probably some twiggy art major Mikasa was too nice to turn down. Oh well. If he’s a good painter, he’s a good painter. 

A surprisingly deep voice answered the phone. 

"Hello?" 

"Uh, is this Erwin?" It couldn’t be. 

"This is he. Who’s this?" 

Eren skipped a beat. 

"Oh. Yeah, I’m Eren. Mikasa’s brother. She said you were a good painter? I need help with some sets for the Wizard of Oz performance we’re doing. You up for it?" 

"Hm." The hum rumbled through the receiver, low and soft. "Yeah, I should have plenty of time this week. When and where?" 

"We’re in theater room B for right now. Come by whenever since I’m always here, but the sooner the better." 

"Right now?" 

"Why not?" Eren pinned the phone between his ear and shoulder, mouthing instructions at some stage hands moving around some of the more satisfactory props. 

"Be there in ten." 

"Yeah." 

The line went dead and Eren was thankful for the opportunity to yell because the stage hands were definitely not moving those props the the right place. 

- 

Ten minutes passed without Eren noticing, since he was helping the slackers who hadn’t bothered to memorize their lines go over their blocking. He jumped a mile when someone tapped his shoulder. 

"Excuse me, are you Eren?" 

Eren spun, ready to snap at whoever it was, but he was forced to look upwards because where he expected a face, he saw only a wide chest. He staggered back a step. 

"Yeah?" 

"Erwin." The guy stuck out a hand and Eren stared at it for a moment like he’d never seen a hand before. The guy was huge. Scrawny art major his ass. 

"Yeah, Eren." He gained his sense enough to shake the guy’s hand. He made the mistake of looking up into his eyes and was struck by a strange and pleasant smile. With a performance so close, Eren hadn’t seen a smile in what felt like years. He had to snap himself out of it, busily caught up in the straight, white teeth and striking blue eyes. He cleared his throat. 

"I need the background over there repainted to Emerald City, and that pile of props to look more like props and not cardboard-shit." 

Erwin’s eyes followed wherever Eren pointed. 

"I don’t know how the hell you mess up the yellow brick road," Eren pointed at that prop in particular, "But I need that one fixed too. Think you can handle it?" 

"No problem." 

"Great, good luck," Eren said in a tone he used when he could really care less. Habitually, he clapped the guy on the back of the shoulder and immediately regretted it. It wasn’t like he was expecting the guy to get angry—he looked more surprised than anything—it was just that Eren hadn’t expected him to be so …solid. Eren went back to his work trying to get over how flustered he was over some guy he’d just met. 

The hours passed and one by one everyone helping filed out, either by sneaking away if they were bold, or begging Eren for permission. Eren thought he was the only one left—that’s how it usually went late in the day, but as he was packing up, he noticed a figure sitting on the ground, crouched over a large canvas. 

"You’re still here?" Eren asked, genuinely surprised. 

"Oh, yeah." Erwin looked around and seemed shocked to see how empty the room was. "Guess I lost track of time. I’m almost done. I did all the props first and saved the background for last." 

Eren looked over to the pile of props drying on newspaper. He didn’t have to look closely to see that the detail was stunning. 

"You did all that already?" 

"And the yellow brick road," he murmured, painting long strokes without looking up. Eren forced himself to look over at the road to keep his mind off how graceful the guy’s hands were. Looking at that road, he excepted to walk over it and feel the texture of bricks under his shoes, but then, he also didn’t dare to put his feet on it. It was almost so much that he didn’t want to use it where it would get walked on by other actors. 

"That’s pretty amazing," he found himself gushing slightly. 

"Hm. Lots of practice." Erwin still hadn’t looked up from what he was doing. To Eren, it looked like Emerald City was already done, yet somehow the guy was still adding details to it.

"That’s really, really awesome." 

Erwin laughed and looked away from what he was doing to look at Eren, then back at the canvas. He added a few details and cleaned the brush in some water next to him. When he’d dried it and put it away, he stood, groaning a little from sitting so long. Eren stood numbly, waiting. 

"So what do you think?" Erwin asked. 

"It’s perfect. I can’t believe you did all of that in a few hours." 

"Well," Erwin looked down. "I would’ve finished earlier, but I got a little distracted sketching." 

"Sketching?" 

"Yeah." 

"Oh." Eren wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure what to do either. This wasn’t a production where everything was going according to his vision. This was something he hadn’t visualized ahead of time. "Can I see?" 

Erwin looked at him, and Eren got the vibe that he’d just made Erwin somewhat uncomfortable and was about to apologize before Erwin said something. 

"You really want to?" 

"Yeah! They way you paint is incredible! I bet your sketches are even better." 

Erwin laughed and turned a little pink, then reached into his shoulder bag and flipped though his sketchbook until he reached a certain page. He held it where Eren couldn’t see it. 

"You’ll have to forgive me for using you without permission, but you’re just so dynamic and expressive. I couldn’t help it. You have a very interesting aesthetic." 

Eren furrowed his brow, mildly confused. 

"Thanks, I guess?" 

He took the sketchbook when Erwin handed it to him and was surprised to find sketches of himself in his hands. There were little versions of him angry, tired, grinning, and rolling his eyes at some of the performances. It took his breath away. 

"I hope that’s not weird." Erwin rubbed the back of his neck. 

"N-no!" Eren held the page in awe. "This is crazy! I don’t think anyone’s ever drawn me before." 

"What a shame." Erwin smiled at him and accepted the sketchbook when Eren handed it back. 

"Oh, er—we should go. I always lock up around this time." 

Erwin nodded. 

"Thanks again." 

Eren thought that would be the end of it, in fact, he’d hoped it would be, since he’d just about embarrassed himself with Erwin, and they’d started to walk in opposite directions after Eren had locked the door before he found himself suddenly struck with courage. 

"Hey! Erwin!" 

Erwin turned around promptly. 

"Do you wanna go get coffee tomorrow?" 

Eren felt like the question hung in the air. He almost wished he could take it back. 

"I’d love to."


	8. Chapter 8

**Anonymous asked: First dance eruren? Could be Erwin teaching eren how to dance? Or just the both of them dancing in the middle of the night in their silent appartment without a care~**

 

Eren sighed, bent over some homework he was sure he wouldn’t be able to figure out on his own. It didn’t help that Erwin was playing music from like, a hundred years ago. He was reading something on his tablet, flicking the pages every now and then. Eren stared at him, mildly irked at how he was actually able to concentrate on reading with music in the background. Eren set his pencil down and groaned loudly. 

"What’s wrong?" Erwin peered at him from over his tablet. 

"How can you read like that?" Eren watched him accusingly. 

"What, on my tablet? The lighting’s really not that bad." 

"No, with music on." 

Erwin raised an eyebrow. 

"I find it relaxing. You want me to turn it off?" He reached for his phone where the music was coming from. 

"No, it’s okay." Eren felt a sudden wave of guilt. It’s not like he knew how to do any of his homework anyway. He’d ask Armin for help later. "Jeez, what is this, the Great Gatsby?" 

"No? It’s swing. It’s from the twenties and thirties." 

"So like, a hundred years ago?" 

Erwin opened his mouth to protest, but shut it. Even he knew his taste in music was somewhat outdated. 

"It was a big dance craze. It’s really good for beginner dancers, and it provides a challenge for experts. It just depends on how much you do." Erwin smiled matter-of-factly.  

"Yeah, well." Eren shut his textbook. "Not everyone studies dances from a century ago." Eren huffed. 

Erwin got up from his spot at the table and nudged Eren where he sat. 

"Come on, try it. It’s easy." 

"Nope." 

"It’s fun." 

"Nope." 

"Please?" 

Eren looked up at Erwin and caught his attempt at a puppy dog face, which didn’t quite suit his features, but was still pathetic enough for Eren to sigh heavily and get out of his chair. 

"Just one dance." 

Erwin brightened. 

"Okay!" He lead them away from the table so they could have more space. "First all you’re gonna do is bounce." 

"Bounce?" 

"Yeah, just bounce with the beat, like this." Erwin bounced up and down with the rhythm of the music, not moving his feet. Eren watched for a moment, hesitant, then slowly copied his motions. 

"Good, see? It’s easy." Erwin took Eren’s hands so they bounced in time together, swaying slightly. "Okay, keep bouncing. I’m going to show you the next part. This is basically all of swing dancing right here, three steps." He demonstrated the steps and Eren furrowed his brow watching. They looked easy enough when Erwin did them, but he wasn’t so sure he could do them himself. 

"It’s just right, left, then rock-step. The rock-step is kinda like two steps. It’s just a ball-change." 

"Speak English." Eren groaned. At least bouncing was easy. 

"Here, do it with me. Right." They stepped with their right feet simultaneously. "Left." Again. "And rock-step." Erwin stepped behind himself with his right foot, then changed feet. 

"Uh." Eren watched Erwin’s feet and slowly copied his movements. "I think I get it." 

"Yeah, that’s it. And that’s pretty much the whole dance! There’s a few turns, but we don’t have to do those." 

Eren harrumphed and kept bouncing. He kept his eyes glued to his and Erwin’s feet, trying to make sure they were doing the same movements. Slowly, Erwin started to move them out of place so they circled the floor. 

"You like it?" Erwin looked at Eren quizzically. 

Eren shrugged. He didn’t really want to admit it, but he actually did like it. Even in the music was old, somehow bouncing to the beat allowed him to feel more connected to it, so it was growing on him. 

The song ended and Erwin held on to him, smiling. They’d stopped bouncing as soon as the rhythm was gone. 

"Thank you, Eren." Erwin leaned in and kissed him on the nose. 

Eren stayed where he was as the next song started and Erwin made to sit down and start reading again, but as soon as he tried to pull away, Eren gripped him hard. When Erwin looked at him, Eren smiled and started bouncing with the beat of the next song. 

"Again."


	9. Chapter 9

 

Eren fought off the shiver to get a hold of himself, backing into Erwin’s hips where he knew he’d have an easier time turning the tables. 

"Good thing I’m not an inexperienced little kid anymore," he pushed back hard enough to prompt Erwin into grabbing onto his hips for leverage. "Or else I might get bored." 

Erwin huffed a laugh in Eren’s ear, deep and throaty, enough to make warmth pool in the pit of his stomach. He said nothing further, but instead mouthed hungrily at Eren’s neck, hands moving from his hips to dip into the waistband of Eren’s pants. Eren gripped Erwin’s wrists to follow their motions, realizing only how full of anticipation he was when Erwin suddenly stopped moving to whisper in his ear. 

"Good. This’ll be fun then."


	10. Chapter 10

**anonymous  asked:**

**Erwin catching Eren crossdressing or viceversa?**

 

"Eren, I’m home!" 

Erwin shut the door behind him as he walked in, locking it habitually. He was home unusually early, since his meeting had gotten cancelled. He’d thought about picking up dinner, but ultimately decided against it, since he’d gone shopping with Eren the day before and could just cook instead. With any luck, Eren had already started. 

Erwin peeked in the kitchen and found it empty, though finally clean since it was Eren’s day off. Erwin made a mental note to thank him for it. Eren wasn’t in the living room either, but it was clean too. Eren must’ve gotten angry about something, since he had a strange habit of cleaning the apartment when he was angry. At least it was a good habit. 

The apartment was still strangely quiet. Erwin had taken their car to work, so Eren had probably gone out to get something and taken the subway. Erwin headed off to their bedroom to change out of his suit so he could start dinner and have it ready for Eren when he got back. 

He pushed open the bedroom door without a thought and froze midway. 

"Eren?" 

Eren didn’t turn, and it took Erwin a second to see the earphones Eren was wearing. He had his back to him, busily folding laundry and bouncing slightly to whatever song he was listening to, but that wasn’t the strange part. Erwin watched in shock and awe as a light green dress swayed and bounced with Eren as he moved. He craned his head to see the white over-the-knee socks he’d paired with it, still standing numbly in the doorway. Minutes passed with Erwin shell-shocked and motionless, Eren oblivious to his presence. Finally, Erwin gathered himself enough to knock on the open door.

Eren spun, absently at first, the skirt twirling with him, and his face went from surprise to shame as soon as he saw Erwin. He ripped his earphones out. 

"Erwin! Y-you’re home early." Eren reddened. 

"Meeting got cancelled," Erwin replied mindlessly, eyes glued to the dress. Eren squirmed under his gaze. Erwin continued to gape at Eren, drinking in the lace collar and the delicate way the a-line shaped Eren’s frame.

"Sorry…" He looked away, blushing deeper. "I clean better like this. I know it’s weird. I’ll take it off." Eren moved to go change into his regular clothes. 

"Don’t. Leave it on. And get on the bed." 

With a baffled expression, and then a sly smile, Eren complied.


	11. Chapter 11

Washed up. That’s what’s said about old, useless soldiers (see: commanders as well) who can’t fight anymore, and tell me it’s not true. But this is life. You die outside the walls, which is what I expected to become of me, or you get injured, get old and useless, and fatten up on tax money. Except I’ve lost weight (probably has something to do with losing an arm though). Either way, I refuse to be washed up. I cannot ask men to ride out to risk their lives if I’m not risking mine. That’s the downfall of politicians, and why they get so little sympathy from the military.

 

One-armed or not, I prepare for the fight. Not for myself, however; it’s much too hard to put a saddle on a horse or even put on the godforsaken straps of the maneuver gear with only one hand left (haha, ‘left.’) It wouldn’t be much of a problem, but for who’s been allowed to prepare me. I should think he was far more important than this.

I watch him move, rather helpless myself, and try to be as useful as I can, but I’m not sure I’m of any help. Still too proud, I’ve pulled on the gear as best as I can, but I simply can’t manage the buckles and the straps are twisted uncomfortably in several places. He clicks his tongue at me when he discovers the knot I’ve made of the straps that cross in the back, just below the belt. No one would really see them, what with the beltskirt, but if they’re twisted, they’re loose, and if they’re loose, they’re unsafe. I note quietly how nimble his fingers are as he undoes my mess, careful to pull the straps away from my body so as to keep a chaste hand.

I decide it would be awkward to watch him with the buckles at the thighs and focus my gaze on my remaining hand, examining the nails with unnecessary thoroughness. They’re dirty, and entirely too long, since washing and trimming (and just about everything else) is much harder to do with one hand, and I make a mental note to put my hand somewhere Levi will see it and clean up for me in an angry frenzy. For once, I’m glad that he cleans so much. Having a little help is nice. Still, I don’t need a squire.

“Thank you, Eren, that’s all I need.”

He’s finished with the chest buckle and made sure everything is snug and in place and I almost feel whole again to be in the taut confines of the gear once more. He gives me a look that tells me, no, he’s not finished, and he circles me, hand on chin, surveying the gear like a concerned mother hen.

“Eren, really, it’s fine.”

I wonder briefly if he still feels obligated to listen to a one-armed commander. I’m almost annoyed with how attentive he’s being.

“Go join your squad, soldier. That’s an order.” My voice doesn’t seem to have the authority it used to, because Eren stops circling and stands in front of me, brow drawn and arms crossed.

“Commander, I have to make sure you’re ready for battle. Lance-Corporal Levi said he doesn’t even want you fighting, but since you insisted, I have to make sure nothing goes wrong.”

“Eren, I’ve been going outside the wall since before you were born, and I’m tired of playing diplomat. Aside from that, shouldn’t you be getting ready yourself? I can give all the orders I want, but we’re not going to win this fight without you.”

I’m not sure what I’m telling him to go do, since he’s already in his gear, and the metal sheaths that hook onto his hips are lying in the corner of the room next to mine, and any horse he might need is no doubt already prepared for him, but something in me hates being doted on like I’m useless.

“If anything goes wrong,” he says carefully, “it’s my fault.”

I open my mouth to retort, to give him another order, but then I catch him looking at the empty sleeve pinned back so that it won’t get caught on anything and I feel realization dawn on me. The expression on his face is hard and guarded, but there’s no denying what it is: guilt.

“Eren…” I place my hand on his shoulder and watch his eyebrows crease deeper. “It wasn’t your fault. None of it was. Every time I go outside the walls, I’m prepared to make much bigger sacrifices.”

“Don’t try to tell me it’s not my fault,” he snaps. “If I hadn’t lost the fight to Rei—to the Armored Titan, then they wouldn’t have taken me and I wouldn’t have needed a rescue party in the first place. I failed once, and it’s not going to happen again.”

“Eren,” I start, and try to give his shoulder a squeeze, but he yanks away from me and sets about setting up the sheaths and gas chambers. I doubt I’ll even need them, considering how limited my success with the actual maneuvering was, but the weight is welcome and familiar, and if anything, we could always use someone to cut ankles.

“That wasn’t a fair fight, you know,” I say quietly. “He had his armor, and then it was two against one and you would’ve won if the Colossal Titan hadn’t stepped in.”

“It doesn’t fucking matter.”

He’s still fussing around with the metal conduits of the gas chambers, not looking at me, but he doesn’t have to look at me for me to be able to tell that my words have had no effect on him.

“Eren.”

He grunts.

“Eren.”

Silence.

“Eren, look at me.”

He hesitates for a moment, then looks up at me, standing from crouching where he’s been trying to quadruple check the gas connections.

“None of this was your fault. None of it.” I say the words slowly and set my hand on his head. “Soldiers die, and they lose limbs. But they know their risk, and they acknowledge it every time they salute and offer their hearts to mankind. You absolutely cannot blame yourself when it happens. It’s a fact of war, so don’t you dare take it out on yourself. If you want to take it out on something, make it the titans. You need to go out there and fight your hardest.”

He nods tersely, but I see his jaw clench and his eyes water, despite how he still looks angry. I don’t bother waiting for a cue. I just grab him and give him the tightest hug I can muster with one arm, glad he hasn’t gotten his gas chambers on yet. He stands stiffly, no doubt examining the strangeness of a hug from a commanding officer, but after a moment his arms come up and his hands catch on my jacket. I wait quietly while he shakes and sobs and remember that he really is still just a boy. I can’t hold him and rub his back or pat his head like I might if I still had both arms, so I settle for resting my head on top of his, giving him a squeeze whenever he sobs particularly hard.

I’m not sure how long we stay there. Five, maybe ten minutes. After time, he pulls away sniffing at his running nose and apologizes for my shirt, not that it matters to me. Changing would be too much of a hassle now.

“Better?” I ask, and he nods, then withdraws a little.

“Commander, I…”

He says it so quietly I lean in to hear him, thinking he’s going to continue speaking, but instead he does something strange. His arms come up, a hand on either side of my face, and he sweeps into the space between us, our mouths meeting. At first, there is only shock. No motion, no fire, just pressure and shock. Even if my eyes weren’t wide from it, I’d be able to tell how scrunched up his face is, like I was about to punch him or something. I see his face relax and am surprised to find myself relax too, taking a long inhale and shutting my eyes. When he moves, I move with him, and I pull a centimeter away after some time has passed and the lapse feels natural, just enough to whisper.

“Eren…” Even as I speak, my lips brush his and he, suddenly brought to life, jolts away, hand over his mouth.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” He nearly trips over himself grabbing his sheaths on the way out the door.

He’s gone before I can protest, before I can stop him.

I don’t see him anywhere before we leave the safety of the walls, and I wonder quietly if he’s run off because of me. We’ll lose if he has.

But he’s a faithful soldier, and I see the crack of lightning that descends as he transforms and grit my teeth, promising to mend things later; fight first. We have a mission in mind, and with the sightings of the Armored Titan here, we’re more likely to win in titan territory where the Colossal is too slow to avoid the titans that would otherwise attack him.

 

I get caught up in making sure the formations are right. I’m grateful that I can still successfully ride a horse with one arm, since it allows me to continue to make sure the formations are on track, and with the smoke signals alerting us of titans, I’m confident that we can reach the place where the traitors are. Eren is somewhere ahead of me, and Levi and Mikasa with him for protection, so I feel better about him. If anyone’s at risk, it’s me. At least I prefer it this way.

I don’t even realize that we’ve run into a pocket of titans until it’s too late and they’re right on top of us. I see in the distance the shape of the Armored Titan, and Eren shaking the ground with each heavy step as he runs after it, but there’s a puff of smoke and Eren is left standing in it, swatting at the air dazed and confused. He doesn’t find the soldier commanding the titan body, already vanished in his cloud cover, and a stone drops in my stomach as I realize what this is. An ambush. They can’t have Eren on their side, so they’ve resolved to kill him instead, get him out of the way.

Driven by some mad force, I abandon my position and turn my horse toward, him yelling. I’m careless, and anything as small as a three-meter class could do me in if it wanted to, but all of the titans seem to have abandoned their occupations to run straight at Eren, but they’re faster than me. From my vantage point, I seem to be the only one who knows what’s about to happen. As I charge, I see him turn, finally seeing the incoming wave of titans, and he roars in rage. At first he does nothing, and I think that he must be trying to control them again, but it has no effect and he roars again, this time more desperate.

I can see Levi and Mikasa, twin spiral blurs as they cut down everything they can, Mikasa the slower protege of Levi, and for a second I am relieved because Eren will be safe. Between the three of them, the titans don’t stand a chance. Levi is too calculated to let anything slip through, and Mikasa too passionate.

Too passionate.

That must be her downfall, because a hand swats her out of the sky and I see soldiers rushing in to help her. She’s far from dead, I’m sure of it, but it’s distracted Levi and left him with twice as many titans to take care of. I was stupid to stop. I should’ve kept my horse going, because maybe I could’ve made it there in time to do something, even if it was only to distract a single titan for a single minute to buy them some time. But I can’t trade my arms for miracles anymore, and I see Levi moving as best he can, a cold killer, but it’s not enough. There’s simply too many, and every time another soldier tries, they gain the attention of a titan and put their life at risk. My head pounds. Losing. We’re going to lose.

I snarl and rear my horse, charging again, but something goes wrong. The damned animal slips or trips over a rock or something and I wonder how such a beast could be so graceless at a time like this. I go down, pitched off my horse by the momentum, and the ground comes for me, but not before I see Eren go down in a mass of titans. Black comes when I strike my head on the ground.

 

I awake with a pounding head, and my right shoulder aches as though it’s been popped out of place, even though there’s no arm to provide the leverage for that. I must’ve landed on it. First there is the ache, where I assess how much pain I’m in and wonder when it will stop. Then there’s alarm. I’m not outside the walls anymore, the horse, the soldiers, the titans—gone. And I am safe. I sit up so fast my head throbs and I yowl when my vision goes white from the pain. Footsteps alert me of someone coming near.

My vision clears enough to see Levi shuffling in with his arm in a sling, his head bandaged. When our eyes meet, we say nothing. Nothing has to be said. A low growl rumbles up from my throat.

“They ambushed us,” I snarl through gritted teeth. My head swims again and I sway, and Levi’s there to prop pillows up behind me.

“The bastards,” he spits.

I take a deep breath and let the anger clear. As my grandmother used to say, nothing’s worse for a weak body than anger.

“Did we get everyone out safely?”

“Erwin, you know that’s impossible. Even on expedition missions we don’t—”

“You know what I mean.”

The look on Levi’s face is puzzled, but only for a moment. He knows only after I make him think about it. He’s always been my first priority, the most valuable on the field, so after missions I looked for him first, but it’s been years and I’ve since stopped thinking it’s even possible for him to die. I don’t have to look for him after missions because he can take care of himself. I don’t know when my priorities shifted, but he seems to know. Maybe it was right around the time I lost my arm.

“There were some casualties.”

“There always are.” I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to elaborate.

“I’ve always hated that word. Casualties. You can’t put ‘casual’ in a word like that. They should call them severities. Severe is more fitting.”

“I agree with you Levi, but you’re stalling. Just tell me.” The last three words are terse, but I force them out anyway.

He hesitates, looking at me, and sets his good hand on my knee. Consolation. Already my heart has dropped to my stomach.

“Things have turned up for us recently, but everything’s bound to go to shit now.”

“Who. Died.” I have no more patience than I have ease.

“He went down in the middle of all of them. I couldn’t get to him. Broke my fucking arm trying.” He sighs, and the twist of my stomach means nothing. I’m not letting it. “The girl—” surely he means Mikasa “—got smacked out of the air—” I’d seen that happen “—knocked her head on something and was out cold. Lucky Kirschstein got to her or she’d be dead. But maybe if I’d had her to watch my back, I could’ve…”

“So he’s dead then? Humanity’s Hope?” I try not to choke on the last word, but it sticks in my throat anyway.

“There’s still a possibility. We had to wait for them to clear, and we’re checking to see if he somehow got out of the titan since he had his gear, but things aren’t looking good.”

“I see.”

My eyes fall shut heavily and they burn slightly. Was I wrong to discredit him for his age? I hadn’t been surprised when he kissed me, not really. He was always so… fidgety around me, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t see the signs. I thought it was possible to keep him distant from me, but then he was captured and just—

The fear. The crippling fear.

I thought he was a dead man once, and I got careless enough to lose an arm when I realized he wasn’t. I know what it was. Elation. I was so incredibly relieved that he was alive that I couldn’t see a goddamned titan coming to munch on my arm and even then I still summoned the strength to cut him free.

“I’ll let you be.”

Levi walks off silently, and I remember for a moment how stealthy he is. He wanted me to hear his footsteps earlier. He wanted me at least partially awake before delivering the bad news.

I start to shake as soon as I hear the door click shut. I push myself back against the pillows. I want to scream, but I am numb. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let him go. I should’ve seen it coming, like the goddamned titans would actually let us take them, just like that. I should’ve called for a retreat—god dammit, why didn’t I call for a retreat? I should’ve rode in and saved him, cut him from the titan myself. I should’ve stopped him from leaving earlier, so I could tell him.

It starts small, just a bubble that passes through my lips.

“No.” Then again, louder. “No.” And louder still, a crescendo, each word a knife in the gut. “No. No! No, no, no, no, no!”

I bite my hand and try to keep it in when I feel the need to scream again, bite down until I draw blood, but that just makes it worse. I can see the crescent-shaped mark bleeding over my hand, one that would’ve matched the scars on his just perfectly.

“Why?! God dammit, why does this have to happen?!”

I can’t help shouting, slamming my head back against the headboard. The door handle twitches, and for a second I think I’ll have to compose myself, wishing I’d locked the door, but I can’t do either. There’s murmuring outside of the door and the handle stops moving. Good riddance.

I shut my eyes and squeeze them until I see colors, flashing lights. I can’t even look at my goddamned door without thinking about Eren clasping his hand over his mouth as he runs out.

Eren.

He’s dead now.

The thought had been there all along, but it hit me like getting kicked in the stomach by a horse. But also like getting kicked in the head and the heart at the same time. I feel my chest tighten.

I should’ve told him. I hardly ever got the opportunity, but I should’ve told him, and—god! his lips! I hate myself. I hate myself, I hate myself. I should’ve told him! Then, maybe I could’ve felt his lips on mine more than once.

A sob racks my body, out of the blue, and suddenly I can’t stop. My head aches, and my shoulder still burns from being thrown out of place, but it can’t burn as much as my eyes or my face as the tears roll down. There’s no pain that can compare to this.

I take several short, labored breaths between sobs. I am a soldier. More than that, a commander, and I have lost men before.

But god dammit. I was such an idiot for thinking we could somehow run from all of this and have a chance. Now we won’t even get to try.

I’m only making this worse. I should stop thinking about it, about everything and it’ll just go away.

But I can’t. I can’t stop thinking about his little, hands, the way his eyes shone in the light, or whenever he was angry, the way his hair smelled when I set my face on it to hug him. I can’t stop thinking about the starchy stiffness of my shirt where he cried into it. Someone took me out of my gear long ago, but I’m still wearing the shirt. I touch the spot on my shirt and sob so hard it comes back as a hiccup.

I have to stop myself, before I get to hysterics. There are so many tears I can’t see straight, and my hands are shaking so much I can hardly open the drawer to my side-table, but I do. I down three or four pills dry and try to steady myself before they do their job and knock me out.

 

I think I wake up a day later. The search party has returned. Levi delivers the verdict wordlessly, and leaves me again. It’s as I expected. Maybe I cried them all out, because there are no tears. Just an empty ache. Someone comes by with food, but I force them out, entirely too forcefully. I’m glad they take the food with them.

I’ve collapsed back onto my pillows, thinking that someone has rightfully shut all of the curtains so that it is dark and cold in my room and I think it is only right.  

I don’t want to think about what they’re saying about me. The commander, who was so strong—so strong and heartless that he’d sacrifice all of his soldiers for his stupid cause. And yet he has fallen, fallen into himself like a collapsing building because a single soldier has fallen in the field.

But he was our hope. He was my hope. Dammit.

I stare emptily into the ceiling. I’m thirsty, but I have no desire to quench my thirst. I think that, just maybe, if I close my eyes I can sleep forever. I do, but I’m so thirsty. So damned thirsty. My hand swipes across the table blindly, feeling for a glass of water, but they come across something else instead. I have to hold it up to my face to see what it is and I nearly hurl when I identify it.

Hanging between my fingers is an old, brass key on a cord. I’ve held it before, in front of a boy in a dungeon.

No.

The tears I thought were gone come back to me and I squeeze. Squeeze my eyes shut, squeeze my hand over my mouth, squeeze the key in it so hard it bites into my palm and the force of squeezing opens the wound I made with my teeth.

I shake and sob again, but I must not do this. I have to get back up. Commanders can’t fall like this. I roll so that I can get out of bed, but nothing happens the way it should. My feet collapse under me and my hand shoots out, landing in a closed fist on the ground. My right side topples, unbalanced without a hand to catch it, and I hit my sore shoulder again, the side of my face too. On the ground, the tears stream across my face onto the cold stone, tears going over the bridge of my nose.

Stupid. I was stupid to think anything would go right in this world.

I’m glad it’s Levi who finds me, opening the door and letting in light with crossed arms. If it were anyone else, they wouldn’t understand.

“Get up,” he urges, softly, helping me to my feet when he’s gotten over seeing me on the ground.

He forces my hand open when I won’t move without making a fist and looks genuinely surprised.

“I thought it was lost…” He’s breathless. His eyes shoot to me. “Erwin.” He shakes me when I don’t respond. “Erwin, you big blubbering baby, do you realize what this means?”

I want him gone. He should leave me alone. He’s gotten me back up, and at least into a chair, but he should leave. Let me die here. He catches the look on my face and his excitement turns to anger.

“You can stop crying now, you old lug. This means he didn’t die for nothing. We can still end this. We have the key.” His level voice isn’t calming.

“Is that all he was to you? A key?!”

He doesn’t hesitate to deliver a sharp smack to my face, the crack of it stinging and diverting my attention for a moment.

“He was a good man. My subordinate as well as yours, and I’m not going to pretend I didn’t know what was going on, but that’s this fucking world. But we have a chance, Erwin! If we don’t use this shitty key, the brat  _will_  have died in vain. I’ll give you more time, but you have to eat something.”

He starts to the door and turns around.

“And take a fucking bath.”

He’s left me the key. I can’t believe he just left it with me, just like that. I hold on to it delicately, because now it’s precious to me. His life is in this key. Everything he was fighting for is here.

Yes.

If we can just, get there, find what’s in the basement, he can still save everyone.

There’s still hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((this is also in my fic synapse but I'm putting it here too))


	12. Chapter 12

**Anonymous asked: Yo! You looking for prompts? Eren and Erwin go out on a fancy date, and Eren's just teasing him every second, rubbing his ankle with his, patting his thighs, you name it. Eventually they go at it in the restaurant bathroom?**

Eren huffed impatiently at Erwin who was ignoring him for whatever was on the expensive menu he was holding up. Eren had already given up on ordering something for himself. Most of the menu seemed to be in French and he didn’t get a word of it.He’d just get whatever Erwin got and hope for the best. Erwin had been talking up the restaurant for weeks, but Eren was never one for the atmosphere that came with fine dining. He didn’t get why people made such a big deal about expensive food when it’d just end up the same as cheap food in about 36 hours. He almost found himself wishing for Hanji so he could share his joke with someone who wouldn’t chastise him for bringing up poop at the table. 

"Erwin…" Eren couldn’t keep the whining tone out of his voice. 

"Just a second." The waiter came by and Erwin started talking to him. In French. 

Eren rolled his eyes. He propped his elbow up on the table—bad manners, he knew—and plopped his chin in his hand. Erwin kept up his conversation and Eren started a groan that bubbled up from the back of his throat until it got louder and louder. He hadn’t minded going to dinner with Erwin, but then something had happened with their reservation and they ended up having to wait an hour for their table, so Eren’s patience was at its end. He was still groaning when he realized the waiter was looking at him. 

"Uh, just give me what he’s having." He jabbed a finger at Erwin. 

The waiter made a face, scribbled something, and said a few more words to Erwin before leaving. Erwin cleared his throat. 

"What was it you wanted?" 

"Preferably someone to speak to that wasn’t speaking French," Eren grumbled. 

Erwin chuckles lightly. 

"Sorry. It’s just that I know that waiter well. He doesn’t get the chance to speak French much here. Says it reminds him of home." 

Eren can’t help but roll his eyes. 

"As long as he brings me food I don’t care if he speaks in pig Latin the whole night," he grumbles. "I’m starving. And the plates here are all gonna be like this big!" He pinches the air with his fingers for emphasis. 

"I’m sorry, I know, I know. They must’ve lost our reservation, that’s all." 

Eren sighed, trying to put himself in a better mood. He opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the antiquated chime of his own ringtone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket, checked the name, and held up a finger. 

"Uh, hold on." 

Important. 

Erwin hit a button on his phone and brought it to his ear. Eren groaned. Just when he thought he had Erwin’s attention. He slumped his face into his hands again, this time bringing his other elbow on the table to join the first. He squished his cheeks up in his hands, groaning loudly enough for Erwin to hear him, earning himself a hard look. 

He scowled until an idea occurred to him. If Erwin wouldn’t give him any attention, he’d just have to take it by force. He sat up straight, pretending to sober up under Erwin’s gaze. Under the table, he slid a foot out of his shoe. He tried not to look like he was trying too hard to find Erwin’s ankle under the table without looking, but thankfully the table was small enough that if he sat forward enough he could knock Erwin’s knee with his. He was glad they’d managed to get a booth so no one passing by would see anything. 

He found Erwin’s ankle with ease, earning himself a curious look as soon as he started to rub his foot over it ever so lightly. He kept his face calm, as if he were only patiently waiting for the waiter to come with their food. Erwin kept talking on the phone. 

Boring.

Eren pursed his lips for a fraction of a second. He wasn’t going to get anything out of Erwin unless he upped the ante a little. He moved his foot higher, trailing it along the inside of Erwin’s calf. He watched Erwin’s face, keeping his own steady, and thought he saw one of the corners of his mouth twitch. That was more like it. He leaned forward just slightly, extending a hand under the table until he found Erwin’s knee. He traced little circles there until he saw a definite change in Erwin’s face. Whenever he said anything to the person on the other end of the phone, he kept his tone even and calm, but Eren could tell he wouldn’t be able to keep that up for long. Teasing was Erwin’s weakness. 

When Eren’s foot found the inside of Erwin’s thigh, Erwin stopped talking in the middle of a word, the second half dying in his throat. Eren kept it up. He knew he’d already won. He watched mischievously as Erwin stuttered his way though ending the phone call. He’d definitely won. 

"Eren, I swear. Can you just wait ‘til we get home?" 

"We were supposed to be home by now, but  _somebody_ insisted that we wait an hour for a table for a teaspoon of expensive food. I’m done waiting.” 

"Eren…" 

Eren moved his foot closer to the center of Erwin’s groin. 

"I think you’re done waiting too," Eren said with a smirk. 

"We’re in a restaurant," Erwin hissed back. 

"Bathroom." 

"We can’t both go to the bathroom at the same time." 

Eren squinted at Erwin for a second, grabbed the glass of wine next to him and tossed it at Erwin’s conveniently white shirt. 

"Whoops," he said unapologetically, getting to his feet. He grabbed Erwin by the hand and pulled him up two, trying not to laugh at the shock on his face. Eren dragged him to the bathroom, pretending to dab at Erwin’s shirt with a napkin he’d grabbed. 

"You…" Erwin growled when Eren had successfully locked himself and Erwin in the bathroom. It, like everything else, was unnecessarily fancy, and luckily enough only built for one person. Eren grinned in response.

Erwin looked at Eren with a blank expression for a moment, then took Eren by surprise by dropping to his knees.

"Alright, greedy." He undid Eren’s belt with ease. "You asked for it."

He pulled Eren’s pants and underwear down to his knees in one motion, taking Eren’s half-hard cock into his hand. Eren stands shell-shocked for a moment, eyelids fluttering as Erwin strokes him to full hardness. He certainly hadn’t been expecting Erwin to be so assertive after he’d been playing ‘reserved’. 

"My left pocket…" Eren mumbled. 

Erwin’s eyes flashed up at him, then back down to where Eren’s pants were pooled around his knees. He stuck a hand in the pocket and pulled out a little plastic bottle. The look on his face wasn’t even surprised. He looked almost jaded. 

"Of course you did," Erwin muttered. He didn’t hesitate in opening the bottle and drizzling a little bit of its contents onto his fingers. As he massaged them into Eren’s entrance, he leaned in and parted his lips, taking in Eren’s cock with an easy gulp. After Eren had interrupted his business call, there was no way Erwin was going to play anything but hardball. He curled his finger inside Eren and relished the way he squirmed in response. 

Eren worked a hand into Erwin’s hair. Now he was just being unfair, coming at him from both sides. Eren staggered a bit as he felt himself hit the back of Erwin’s throat. Another finger slid in. Any more, and his knees would buckle under him.

"Shit…" He hissed, trying to steady himself by placing his other hand on Erwin’s shoulders. His vision was going hazy, but he could still see the tent in Erwin’s pants. Looking at it and being able to do nothing about it while Erwin tormented him only made him more frustrated. Erwin’s fingers scissored, testing the elasticity of Eren’s body, before adding another finger. Eren felt the familiar pull of being opened, but between Erwin’s mouth and his skilled fingers, it didn’t bother him in the slightest. 

Eren began to feel a heat pooling in his stomach, his breath coming up shorter and shorter by the minute. 

"Fuck, Erwin, wait…" 

Eren trembled against Erwin’s fingers. He couldn’t come yet. It was too soon. It wasn’t fair. He felt Erwin smile around his cock, pull back and look up. 

"What?" 

Eren whimpered. Instead of letting him reply, Erwin had curled his fingers inside of Eren, finding a spot he was all too familiar with. He tested it again for good measure, steadying Eren with his free hand when he started to sway. 

Wordlessly, Erwin drank in Eren’s face, made his decision and got to his feet, grabbing the little bottle he’d tossed aside earlier. He spun Eren with a hand on his shoulder, then pushed his shoulder forward. Obediently, Eren bent at the hips. Erwin chuckled a little, undid his pants and freed his throbbing erection from its confines. He opened the bottle again, took what he needed and tossed it aside once more, ignoring Eren’s impatient whine. He slicked it along himself and placed a hand on Eren’s hip before guiding himself in. 

Eren stiffened immediately at the intrusion, then gradually relaxed into it until Erwin had it all in. 

"You’re in so much trouble," Erwin growled in his ear, pressing his chest to Eren’s back. Eren tried to laugh, but Erwin shut him up with a hand around his cock. 

He set a grueling pace. It took Eren by surprise again. He’d only seen that kind of drive from Erwin a handful of times, and they’d been together for more than a year. Normally he could keep himself fairly quiet if the situation demanded it, but with that kind of pace, he cried out against his will. The hand not viciously pumping Eren’s cock snaked up and muffled Eren’s voice. Behind him, Erwin pounded relentlessly. 

Eren shuddered, feeling his knees go weak again. He braced himself against the wall, his vision starting to go white. He hadn’t fully gotten a hold of himself from Erwin’s earlier teasing, so he knew his was close to the edge. He leaned forward even more, resting his forearm against the wall and his forehead with it. He gripped Erwin’s wrist with the other hand. 

"Are you close?" Erwin’s voice had a hint of laughter in it. He was pleased with himself. 

Eren nodded furiously. 

"P-please…" He was going to come anyway, but he knew how much Erwin liked it when he asked for permission. 

"Do it." 

With that, his body tensed and spasmed, Erwin pushing him further by squeezing the hand around his cock. His legs gave out under him as he came and Erwin caught him with the hand that had been over his mouth. Erwin gave a few more thrusts before following suit. 

Once Erwin had pulled out, the two stared at one another, now both sweaty, disheveled, and covered in cum in various places, before bursting out laughing. 

Eren grabbed a handful of paper towels and started cleaning himself off. He pulled up his pants with one hand, still laughing. His fingers found something wet and he tried to frown against his smile. 

"You made me get cum on my pants!" He pointed at a little spot where some had landed. 

"You got wine all over my shirt, you ass!" Erwin held his shirt away from his body. He washed his hands, cleaned himself off and zipped his pants again, then caught his reflection and started fixing his hair. Eren came up behind him in the mirror and wrapped his arms around Erwin’s chest, resting his chin on his shoulder. 

"You’re a little monster," Erwin muttered. 

Eren beamed at him in the mirror. Erwin tsked at his shirt. There was no saving it after they’d ignored the stain and let it dry a little. Eren did his best to wipe off the spot on his pants as Erwin moved toward the door. 

"Come on. Our food’s probably at the table by now." 


End file.
